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The Results
Optimism is not just a feel-good strategy. When we focus our attention on our innate character strengths (wisdom, courage, compassion), rather than our perceived failures, we boost not only our moods, but our immune system and success levels as well. Research has shown that optimistic people tend to be healthier and experience more success in life.
To alter our lives—and the challenges we face—we must first recognize what we say to ourselves when we experience a setback. By breaking what Seligman calls the “I give up” pattern of thinking and changing our interior negative dialogue, we can encourage optimism.
Quality of Life
Practicing “spiritual optimism” is another way to improve the quality of our lives. Joan Borysenko, author of Fire in the Soul: A New Psychology of Spiritual Optimism, suggests that we remember that it takes courage to live, and that we can find that courage by facing our fears, finding support and using prayer or meditation. Again, it’s not really our lives that depress us but our thinking about our lives.
So unless Anthony can begin to change his thinking, his life may not change. Barbara, however, will likely graduate to even more satisfying and fulfilling years ahead because she believes her life is filled with challenges and opportunities
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Top 10 Sources of Stress
Ask people why they’re stressed, and they’re likely to say that it’s these infernal deadlines or too much work and too little staff, or perhaps the family’s overpacked schedules. And while these can certainly add to a pressure-cooker atmosphere, they’re not really the greatest cause. At fault more than anything is the tremendous internal pressure and anxiety that we create for ourselves through the following:
1. Self-criticism. Tame your inner critic, focus on your strengths and forgive yourself.
2. Powerlessness. We are all powerful beyond measure. Open your eyes and see all the choices available to you.
3. Perfectionism. Do your best, but let the elusive “perfect” go.
4. Worry. Faith and action are the best antidote to worry, especially about situations we cannot control.
5. Unrealistic expectations. Life can never be problem-free. Our outlook can.
6. Insecurity. What we need to be emotionally secure is inside each one of us. Stop looking to others to provide it.
7. Hurrying. Try walking slower, chewing slower and working at a steady, but not frantic pace. You might be surprised to find yourself performing better.
8. Comparing to others. The question should be whether you have met your own standard.
9. Pessimism. When we expect the best from life, life has a way of handing it to us (even when it may first look like the worst).
10. Competition. Try turning every encounter into a win-win situation rather than a win-lose one. |
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